Life (as taught by soccer)

The weather was perfect -- slightly overcast, moderate temperature, slight breeze. Home field advantage, playing the only undefeated team in the division. Anticipation was in the air, nervous energy fueling pre-game drills. The game whistle blew, and Coach sent everyone to their starting positions... only instead of defender as usual, my daughter was placed in the goalie box.

Don't get me wrong, she loves playing goalie. But since she joined this team, she's only played in the goal a handful of times. Today? She was there the whole game.

The first half was scoreless. She made a couple of saves that were nothing short of spectacular, and went off the field elated at halftime.

The second half was a fearsome battle for the ball, neither team really getting to shoot much at all. Except for that one time when the other team got a fortuitous bounce and capitalized on it... directly in front of our goal. She dove, and even got a finger on the ball; but it had been effectively drilled, and the tip of her finger was no match for it. Moments later the game whistle blew for the final time, and it was over.

We lost, 1 to nothing. My daughter felt responsible. As she shuffled to the car following the post-game coach's talk, several of the parents from our team went out of their way to tell her she'd done well. I was grateful to them. Though I could say the same words, they wouldn't have the same effect as hearing them from someone else. The mom of the other goalie on our team even told my daughter, "Honey, by the time it gets to you, that ball has already gotten past 10 of your teammates." I could have kissed that mom for saying it.

She's still sad. It was a disappointing loss afterall. But I think she'll recover more quickly, more fully, because of the kindness shown. Perhaps that's the real life lesson to be learned from youth sports.

Grace, Kelli

In an email from/to Circus Kelli this morning, I was struck by how bloggers are, on the whole, a very tolerant, generous, patient and forgiving lot. Apparently we use only a fraction of our true capacity for grace in many of the real-world interactions that frame our lives -- rather like the fabled lion's share of our brain power -- because the world I see out my front door only rarely displays the same breadth and depth of compassion and acceptance I have witnessed here in the blogosphere. In the real world, it's the sort of thing that shows up only around tragedies of vast proportions like the WTC collapse, Hurricane Katrina, or the tsunami that destroyed Phuket.

But the blogosphere? It's a whole 'nuther planet. When one blogger faces hardship, countless others rally around, helping, donating, fund-raising, sending cookies and just in general offering support to the wounded one. When a blogger gets writer's block or their schedule is overwhelmed, the rest quickly offer clemency and pardon for neglected posts and unsent comments, sometimes even guest-posting for one another to fill the void. If one gets trolled, we circle the wagons. And if one has trouble with self-acceptance, others often repeatedly offer observations (to greater or lesser degrees of accuracy) and encouragement that can help alter the way we see ourselves. Race, gender, sexual orientation, differences and disagreements all matter less here.

Amazing.

Thanks Kelli, for making me think, making me laugh, and giving me a topic to post.