Pulling it all together
At a birthday party for a dear friend yesterday, I asked her to take stock of how she is, really, and tell me -- if she could -- what she thinks about life right now. She looked directly into my face for what seemed a very long time, and then answered that she wondered if it ever got any more together than this. She said she's been waiting for her life to pull together for as long as she's been an adult, and is beginning to wonder if this is as good as it gets.
To me, her life already looks pretty together. Mine feels scattered. To her, mine seems dialed in and hers feels incomplete. Is it just that she is her, and I am me? Is it merely that perspective alone determines whether one has arrived?
I don't often take the time to ponder such thoughts, mostly because who has time? I bet Socrates never had to organize soccer tournaments and baseball parties. Still, I have been thinking since that conversation. Another friend who was there had just reclaimed a part of herself she had let go over the years, and we were celebrating her decision kind of like a birthday, too. She said that yeah, this IS as together as it gets, and that we all have to pull it together day by day as we're able.
I don't know.
But I'll tell you this: I have really great friends -- online and off. And I'm grateful for you/them all. And even if this is as together as I ever pull it, life's a pretty sweet ride.
posted by eclectic @ 10:33 AM
33 comments
33 Comments:
It all just depends on what angle you look through the prism. You either get a jumbled mess, or a colorful...mess. Same mess, just different.
Bloggy: So it seems, friend. So it seems.
This is a great post. I keep waiting for things to come together, too, and I'm starting to see that just as some things finally come together, others unravel. Thanks for causing me to ponder this today.
Who ever knows if they have it "together" or not. Life changes so fast, we are luck to even keep up.
I say, don't worry about whether you have anything together or not. Look around, smell flowers, tickle babies, enjoy the ride. Wait until you're old , then look back on it all and decide what you had together.
Just use duct tape.
xxx
You never will be happy if you're looking for the perfect "whatever". You take life day by day and enjoy any pat of it that you can. When things aren't so perfect, then change what you can, get through what you can't.
Or use duct tape, whatever works.
;-)
Love ya, sis!
Kalki: You're welcome, and thanks! It's so obvious that it's easily overlooked I guess.
Mad William: You're fairly wise, for a mad pirate guy.
Mo/Dis: Where you been, girl?! How's your cycling? When are we riding?? Bring duct tape!
Squirl: So, what you're saying is, enjoy the "JOURNEY"??? *heh*
Amen, Sweetie.
We need to remember that all we have to do is the best we can TODAY. Tomorrow is another chance to do better. Life is a crazy, scary, wonderful ride.
Sometimes, it IS all about perspective.
Love you, darlin.
CK: Have I told you lately that I love you?!? Thanks for being here.
If there's one thing I've learned from blogging, it's that no one truly has it all together. It may seem that way to people in real life, but when you read blogs you know the truth.
Why couldn't I have learned this lesson in high school?
I have a friend who recently told me she thinks she's finally learned to stop trying to get 'there', where ever that is. I asked what she was talking about. She replied "honey, there is no 'there', it's all about the journey."
I think whatever our 'mess' is, it's probably as good as it gets. I like bloggy's comment...depending on how you look through the prism, you get either a jumbled mess or a colorful mess...sounds about right to me!
btw...i love it when you find time to post girlie!
I think you've got it pretty together. Let me ask you this: do you friends have totally sweet blogs?
I rest my case.
I don't have kids so I cannot even relate to what you Superstar Moms have to go through, but I ask myself almost daily if "is this as good as it gets?". I just feel like I missed the boat some days and didn't do what I should have done with my life. I feel like I'm waiting for something...the right thing to come along. Damn. I'm tired of waiting to be quite honest.
AND waiting for you to update is TOTALLY worth it.
When are we getting together again? I need my Eclectic Fix.
That was a really good post.
xxx
I am happy because of what CK wrote in her comment. I use that phrase daily. I love having the opportunity to do better.
The fact that people actually want better is, in itself, a great thing to feel. The want of something more is what makes me get up and go everyday, pulled together or not.
That and Vodka.
If everything was all pulled together we'd have nothing to do and life would be pretty boring.
I love you, too, E-baby.
Hahahahahaha, I love spill-over from other blogs. I love ya, sis!
I'm never going to have it together, but I'm okay with that. We have each other, though. And that's pretty awesome. :)
Life IS a sweet ride, isn't it? :)
There are times I feel more "settled" with my life than others. I think that's true with most folks.
I'm with Sooz.....I need a fix. Soon.
Angie
I love that William's comment made me smile.
Well, I love that CK loved that she smiled at William's comment on her comment because he was happy. And doing better. And drunk. I love all that, man.
And all this reminds me of that funnyordie video, Friday Night Nights: "In this important world, you're on the team."
I remember telling a therapist, my first therapist, in my twenties, that I felt I was waiting for my "REAL" life to start. I did figure out somewhere along the way, that this is it. Every minute is the real deal, a once in a lifetime minute.
I will wisely reserve comment about having one's shit together.
Hi, E!!!
Life is a journey and at times it is a roller coaster ride. Life is also a circle, so when it all comes together you won't care, you won't be here.
When you have people willing to take the ride with you it is a wonderful thing. You can be cruising and dang if there isn't that hill to climb. Or be up at the top and dang there is that rapid decent.
The one constant in life for me that is comforting, is that life is ever changing. What is today won't always be tomorrows. While the ever changing doesn't allow us to pull it all together. It does keep things interesting. Yesterday was chilly, cloudy, and rainy. Today the lake is fuller, the sun is out, the birds are singing. This morning at the store I was talking to a little baby. She laughed, her mom was shocked. I guess it was her first laugh. I so love baby laughs. What I loved even more as I was walking to my car the mom kept getting the baby to laugh. The two of them were adorable.
Today isn't like yesterday and tomorrow will be different too. Even when you feel like you do the same thing everyday. There is always something different.
Cause I am here to tell you, I tried duct tape and it just doesn't hold long enough. :)
I don't think I'll ever really pull it all together; that's really just not my style. But that's just my perspective, I suppose.
I have spent far too long waiting for my life to sort itself out and I've also come to the realisation that, actually, this is how it is. I'm adjusting but it's a slow process. Maybe I'm becoming a grown up!
Agh! My RSS feed for you isn't working. I've missed the last several of your posts!
This post is thoughtful. I many people overestimate the "togetherness" of others and underestimate their own "togetherness." (Of course, there are also the jerks who do just the opposite.)
Hello, Shari.
yup. sweet ride. well said.
Eclectic, was it you who had those pictures of the kid who was being carried in front of the goal posts from side to side? I can't remember. Man, that was funny.
i wonder, every adult must think that when they get a spare minute or so. when i was a child i used to think that adults were lucky, that they got to do whatever they wished, go whereever they wished and be around whomever they wished. then i grew up and found out how messy adulthood could really be. i wonder if i'm going ot think the same things when i'm an old fogie...i wonder if there is really a "together" to get.
Shawkey: No doubt! I'm trying to help my daughter learn it before she gets to high school. *yeesh* Tough years for most of us, eh? But eventually, we learn the truth.
Traci: Back atcha! Your current series has me obsessing over the "refresh" button!!
Iron Fist: Well, there's that one guy... his blog is pretty sweet. ;)
Sooze: How's July for you? I could use a fix myself.
JDR: Thanks!! Nice seeing you!
William: Absolutely. Don't forget the vodka.
Limpy: So that's why we blog, right? Because we're all pulled together with nothing to do, and life is pretty boring. *heh*
CK: Awwww.... ***kicks toe in the dirt***
Squirl: Hee! Love you too!!
Heather Anne: I know, huh?
Angie: Soon!!! How's July for you?
CK: I bet he does, too.
Susie: Well, in THIS important world, I'm glad to have you on the team.
Lynn: Chicken! ;)
Nina: Ain't no duct tape in the world strong enough for that job. ;) Thanks for being here!
Matt: I don't think any of us will. It's when we reach the end that biographers draw it into a neat and tidy little package, convincing those who come after that we really had it all together.
Platy: ***gasp*** A grown-up? Say it isn't so!
Scott: Hello! I wonder if the jerks overestimating their own togetherness really do think that, or if they're acting to convince themselves.
Amy: I don't remember that photo, but, with my memory, that's no guarantee it wasn't me!
Dykewife: Welcome! I think "together" is a figment of society's collective imagination.
Your present wrapping instructions are up.
xxx
Hey girl. Can I e-mail you my five page Bar complaint and have you look it over. I'm probably using the same info for my Malpractice claim and I would love another pair of eyes? Send me your e-mail addy at mine, rsg at recoveringstraightgirl dot com.
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