How to Humiliate a Cat

So... I'm on the computer furiously writing a trial brief, when I notice Sapphira leaping onto the island, where the brownies my daughter and her friend had just baked were cooling on a rack.

Recognizing a party foul in the making, I nudge the cat off the island before she can begin her approach, but so intent was she upon her chocolatey prey that my action startles her. I mean, startles her so completely that she violates all cat rules of grace and dignity, and lands partly in the water dish on the floor. She whips around at the speed of angry feline, and fixes me with a stare so malevolent I check my hair for smoke, and then she stalks off faux-haughtily, pitiful tail dripping... only to lose her footing on the slippery wet tile.

No, really. My cat. Slipped on the tile.

Any moment now I'm expecting to receive notice that she's been expelled from the cat society. Perhaps we can teach her to fetch?