Dis-appoint-Ment
Q: What do you do when you arrive with your son at a baseball tournament out of town, and the other parents and coaches there decide amongst themselves that you must be there to make a stink about your son having been left out?
A: You stay through the day, oblivious, until spoken to directly, and then cry for two hours on the drive home.
Q: How do you "prove" you and your son were pure of heart, actually wanting to cheer for his friends, their very own children?
A: You can't. People will believe what they want to believe, and they will find what they are looking for, wherever they look.
Our son was disappointed before. He's devastated now. They specifically told him he didn't belong there. They wouldn't even let him shag balls with the other boys who were warming up between games. They couldn't in their wildest dreams imagine a heart as big as his, nor as pure. And I feel sorry for them and their small little minds.
But I hurt for my son, and even a little for myself. And I wonder why everything -- even youth sports -- is so political. And why, at my advanced age, I still don't see it coming. I pranced him right into the lion's mouth, blindly thinking that his show of bravery and generosity of spirit would be, at the very least, welcome. Call me Polyanna. Again. I'm getting very tired of it.
posted by eclectic @ 3:42 PM
30 comments
30 Comments:
this? is why i represent trees and air and water and land, and NOT people.
i owe you big hugs in 80 days. give or take ;)
Like I said last post "Being a parent is the HARDEST job in the world". I truely hate organized sports, the Politics suck big time. I am so sorry for the un-welcome response you received.
You have a good kid, who will someday remember this hurtfull event and be a better person for it.
I hate "sport" parents. I use to sit by myself at my kids events and everyone wondered why I was so anti social. Its because of jerks like the ones who hurt your childs feelings.
I hope you and your son can find something positive out of this horrible experience someday.
take care
Oh for Christ's sake!!! What is wrong with these people?!?
I can't believe that I just teared up a bit. I am so sorry.
You are shitting me. You HAVE to be shitting me...people...can't...they just can't be....*sigh*....
But they are that ignorant and rude.
That is beyond absurd!!!
I hope that your son realizes in addition to having done the right thing that he should never, EVER allow himself to become one of *those* types of people. No matter how much easier life would be, he needs to stay true to himself and his heart.
I would have totally kicked those parents/coaches in the teeth if that had been me Eclectic. You're a much better person that I. MUCH BETTER!
And that's reason #2,687 why it's a good thing I'm not having any kids of my own.
If he can get to Connecticut by Saturday, Ill sneak him onto our team.
Uh, he can pass for 8 right?
And fuck those small-minded assholes.
A child is trying to show them how to behave and they refuse to see it. My jaw, literally, dropped as I read this post. How the hell do you explain this kind of crap to a kind-hearted, big-souled child like your son?
Makes me wanna spit and cry at the same time.
eclectic, please don't hate me for playing devil's advocate, but i'd like to present their side of the issue, because i've had some experience with this. you see, those parents are what we former volunteer firefighter/EMTs refer to as 'whack jobs.' they call you in the middle of the night because their children no longer call anymore, having seen years ago that their vicarious tendencies were suffocating and smelled vaguely of cheap liquor. and sure, they're nice when you're there giving them life-saving assistance, but as soon as they're better, they're the first ones to cut you off pulling into Wal-Mart. But you have to forgive these people, Eclectic. Apparently they'll be inheriting the earth someday.
Non-ranting attempt #450,691:
Your son is the morale winner of this crowd.
He did the right thing by coming over to cheer for his friends. Now, the parents and staff? Not so much.
They lost a crucial part of what could have been the best cheering squad these players would have ever heard.
Your son is the bigger person in this situation. I hope he knows that no matter the outcome, if he does the right thing, he is the winner.
No doubt in my mind who was in the right in that situation.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cuss some more because this is bull-end of transmission-
I tried, anyway...
totally ignore them. turn a blind eye; walk away. find him another sport to get involved in, show him that those folks need to be pitied and prayed for, and then find a really positive sport for him to be involved in that doesn't involve those self-serving people. there are so many good people out there...i hate for him (you) to be burned by the self-absorbed. you are good. celebrate it. ::hugs::
That sucks eclectic. What a fucking bunch of losers they are. I'm so sorry for you and your son.
Angie
You have got to be kidding me! Unbelievable. What a bunch of boors!
So, so sorry to hear that your son's good deed was so misinterpreted by a bunch of cynics.
But ultimately, these people must have some major issues if that's their immediate reaction. And hopefully you can feel some comfort in the fact that your son can go home and play ball some other day, but these people will always be miserable.
Wanna go get a drink Friday night? My treat! ;)
Oh honey. I am so sorry this happened. I'm sure you were a much better person than I would have been. I'd probably have stood there, explained the true purpose of our visit and then told them exactly what I thought of them and left. On the way home I most likely would have regretted my words and still spent the time crying. You are such a great mom and your son is amazing. This whole parenting gig bites the big one when we want to take the pain for our children and cannot. {{{{{eclectic & son}}}}} I'm thinking of you. Email me sweetie. We can kvetch together!
This is one of many reasons why I say "sports=evil" and I wish you guys didn't have to go through that kinda stuff.
Yuck.
shari, that is heartbreaking. Just heartbreaking.
I've experienced not making the cut, and also making the cut but being sidelined. But I've never experienced that. The one consolation is that you and your son KNOW your intent was good. I don't know what kind of lesson this teaches your son, if any, but at least you encouraged goodness. I think you're both awesome. I hope you find the one (or more) players/parents on the team that understands what you guys did. And if they don't exists, I highly recommend a baseball bat enema for the whole team.
Shit, he deserves a lot of ice cream for this. You too.
People can be so small-minded. I agree that ice cream should definitely be consumed. It has an amazing palliative effect.
I think a quick punch to the throat for each of them will make you and your seon feel better. Works for me.
Kat: I plan to collect in 79 days, give or take! Thanks.
Nancy: It so IS the hardest job, you're right. But also, the most rewarding, I think.
Curtis: Thank you! I have no idea what is wrong with them, and I certainly didn't see it coming. Your tears are greatly appreciated.
Sooze: But you and your kids could help me combat all the ignorant rudeness out there, dude! *sigh* I guess I'll just have to take your niece, then...! ;)
Limpy: He's only 9, and his parents are short, so yeah, I'm sure he'll pass for 8! Connecticut's a bit far, but thanks, man.
Squirl: I have no idea how to explain it, so that's what I told him. He nodded and said it must be hard to be someone who wants people to be so ugly. I swear, the kid's 100 years old sometimes.
Brando: Thank god someone is willing to stand up and say what needs to be said, man. Oh, and is "whack jobs" the technical term, then?
M/D: You made me smile. I love that about you!
RazDreams: Thank you so much. The thing is his regular team and coaches are excellent, and he IS having a very positive experience there, thank goodness!
Angie: Hee! I made you cuss! ;) Thanks for your support, though -- it means a lot.
Jenny: You're gonna be here on Friday??! Sweet! Oh, and you get extra points for using "boors". Thanks for understanding.
Traci: Thanks for the hugs, sweetie! I'll email soon.
Bloggy: Thanks, buddy. It does suck.
Peefer: It IS heartbreaking, but you're right: two players and their parents have already called to express their shock at the others' collective assumptions and behavior. That helps tremendously.
Caitlinator: Hi! Another endorsement for ice cream, eh? I shall procure some immediately! And you get points for using "palliative."
Peter: Didn't see you sneak in! Believe me, the urge has definitely reared its ugly head, but ultimately, I am not inclined to answer assault charges. If you'd like to act on my behalf, I can I.D. them for you...! ;)
The good side to this is that you get to shift focus from the negative and point out to him how important it is for you guys to be able to talk these things out as they come up.
They told him that he didn’t belong there? After he did an honorable thing like putting away his own pain and going to cheer on the others? I cannot believe that people can be so uncouth and spiteful!
Or, maybe I can. There is a lesson that I have learned from the study of history: (most) people detest and fear the people they have wronged. These folks seem to fall in that category.
I am sorry that this second injustice happened to your son and you.
What?! WHY do people have to be like that? What's wrong with them? I'm so sorry, sweetie... that's just so not fair...
Ooh, a beatdown does sound fun. If there's enough of us, they can't prosecute all of us, right? Maybe?
I'm sorry people suck, Eclectic. No one understood, huh? How sad.
Oh! That just sucks ass. What a bunch of losers. My first thought is to write a note to the coaches saying what you told us here. I am an angry note write by nature so take that advice with a grain of salt. Hugs to you and C.
What do you do?? You did it, by staying through the day. Your son saw his mom act above all the other parents. He saw what is right and what is wrong.
Our hearts break when out children's do. If we could protect them from all the pain that is in the world. Sadly we cannot. On that note, I am sending you both big hugs and a lot of love.
Oh wow. Those other parents are obviously bitch-ass-hos, and nobody wants to be around those. I agree with others: you showed real poise to stay the day and cheer anyway, and good for you. I'm so sorry you and your son were hurt -- hope he's doing okay!
are you kidding me??? OMG, I'm so sorry that other people have a hard, if not impossible time seeing that there ARE good poeple in this world. You did the right thing, it was them that were wrong and they should be ashamed of themselves for treating your son like that.
you said it best: And I feel sorry for them and their small little minds.
happy mothers day eclectic, you're awesome.
I don't get it. Why would these ppl just decide you were there to make a stink? On what basis??? What propelled them to this conclusion? Why would you go out of your way... to go all the way out of town to make a stink?
Sometimes I just don't get people. People are weird... especially small minded ones- we should revoke their rights to breathe (am I being small minded?)
That is the exact reason that I carry pee filled water balloons at all times.
You never know when you might need to piss on a whole group of jackasses at once and what if you didnt drink enough water that day to do the job??
You can tell your son that next time I will come sit on the sidelines with a whole tub of balloons.. just in case.
GASP. I have not read the other comments yet. INSERT STRING OF MOTHERFUCKING EXPLETIVES. Dear God. I am SO sorry. I apologize, on behalf of human beings. Oh. I am weeping. You show them, you print out and send the bastards, your original blog post, with comments. Or you give them my phone number. SHAME ON THEM. Oh, Shari, I can't even . . .
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