Monday Motif - "FEAR" (Thanks mrtl)

Fear. It's different than fears. Fear is a large, amorphic and frightful psychological substance that can be felt, but not touched or defined. Fears, on the other hand, are specific experiences -- past, present or future -- of fright that often leave scars on the mind.

One of my earliest memories of fear is at night. I was probably 3 or 4, and I could see shapes moving in and out of my closet. I could not identify them, and I could not rationalize them, so they scared me. The fear generated by that was so intense I could smell it. And I cried out. My parents in the next room came running to my aid, and as they opened the door to my bedroom the shapes disappeared. But for several nights, the terror returned... until one evening that week my dad came home from work with an elongated package wrapped in ribbons. Inside was a fuzzy, 3-foot long yellow and green caterpiller with smiling eyes and dimples. Dad said he had given Caterpiller some of his strength and some of his love for me. He told me the shapes were as afraid of Caterpiller as they were of him. He was absolutely serious, and he was absolutely right. That night as I lay staring at the closet, clutching Caterpiller by the antennae, I remember craning my ears and eyes to see the shapes because I just knew they were coming. But they never did. They never showed up again, not once.

When I was 5 or 6, I was "swimming" in the pool with my brothers, and Grandma was playing lifeguard. I lost my grip on the floatie somewhere in the deep end while my sibs were engaged in a heated game of Keep Away in the shallow water, and I went under. Grandma noticed, but she couldn't swim. She started shrieking, I could hear her from under the water, and the sound in her voice positively terrified me. However, my oldest brother swam quickly to my rescue and to this day recalls asking me, "Were you afraid?" He also remembers my reply: "Not really. When I heard your bubbles, I knew you were coming for me."

Why do I share these stories from so very long ago? To illustrate a simple truth I was lucky to learn early in life: most fear is vanquished in the presence of love.